The Diary

This page acts as my venting diary, if you've clicked this far, you should know that there will be sensitive content.

You've been warned. 

never thought that id cry enough to clean by own glasses with the tears that accumulated into the lens. convenient i guess. 

god am i fucking stupid or something
7:31pm - 1/17/2026

im not doing good and i dont know how to explain why or how. but truthfully i think i just want to kill myself today. i dont know. i hate being like this. i hate spiraling. i think im going to hrut myself. i dont think id tell anyone if i do or not, idk. lol. this is . funny. its funny. its so funny. its so fucking funny isnt it.

9:18pm - 11/29/2025

everyday im terrified im going to lose her. i dont know how ill be able to function without her and it scares me. im doing my best, im trying so hard to keep her going. its so hard and its so terrifying knowing i may possibly lose her and ill never have the actual confirmatiion that shes gone - that ill just have to know when she never messages me again. i want her in my life and im trying so hard. im researching, im trying to think of a plan. i dont want to lose her, thinking about it makes me fucking cry like a baby. im so scared, im so ungodly scared. i dont want that to happen. i dont want to lose her.

12:44pm - 7/13/2025

There's nothing here . . .